We've all been there on a date with the best intentions. We actually finally found someone we like and want the date to turn out really well. Unfortunately, without realising it, we could be commit the ultimate crimes of bad date conversations. Read below for some things NOT to talk about.

Agreeing with everything he/she says on a first date.
Being a 'Yes' person is not good. People like people with opinions, and there's nothing worse than someone who hasn't got one. It's good to have passion and it creates a strong attraction for someone to see that. It means you actually care about something, and hopefully that means you would have the similar strength of desire for them, if anything develops.

Discussing yours and her dating life on a first date.
It's good to open up but not about your love life on your first date. If it comes up, keep it to a minimum. It can add indirect added pressure to the situation and make the other person have pre-judgements about what kind of person you are. Too many lovers may seem you only care about sex, a couple of really long relationships may seem that you want to commit quickly. Either way, change subject.

Talking about how much you earn.
Sometimes this works, especially if you want to get together with a gold-digger. For the average person though this is probably a topic that should always be avoided. Again, judgements can easily be made, too much, too little, security... everyone has their reasons but most of all, it shouldn't matter.

Making a conversation last longer than it should
You get nervous, you talk more, you're running out of conversations so you end up repeating yourself over and over again trying to make it last longer. Learn to stop and admit to yourself that this conversation is on its last legs. Either look for a new conversation starter but if all fails make your excuses, say you're going to the toilet, quick phone call, regain your thoughts and start again with some new ammunition. If all fails, cut the evening short and say you had a great time.

1. Talking too much.
This is one of the most common and deadly first date mistakes that both sexes are guilty of on a first date. Excessive chattiness literally kills attraction and interest. Use your words sparingly on your first date and don’t engage in a 10 minute monologue. - That's of course unless the other person is a total bore, if she's not responding with good conversation you'll at least know you aren't compatible.

2. Not escalating physical contact.
This is another common first date mistake. Sitting across the table from a woman for three hours and talking is not a date. It’s an interview, so either change positions by sitting next to each other or switch venues - the stroll will help find new topics to talk about and read her body language.

3. Not making eye contact with your date.
Keeping your eyes on the walls / table, the road while talking to your date is a sure way to turn her off. Keeping your eyes on your company is a social sign that you are interested in them and an essential element for building attraction. (Tip - don't obviously stare, but if it feels awkward focus on different points of the body for a few seconds when chatting then returning back to the face, this will seem more natural).

4. Not being funny on a first date and being too cautious.
Having a dry, normal conversation with a man/woman on a date is a major turn-off for both sexes. Impressions count and there's nothing worse than talking to a boring robot. Forget 'trying' to make an impression, and just be casual. A personality that shines can make him/her feel comfortable and sharing a few laughs will make the date go smoothly and plus points all-round.

5. Being excessively generous with your compliments towards your date
it’s a good idea to compliment a woman once or twice during your first date. Too much however, and it will just seem like you're being desperate or too keen and we all know, too keen is a total turn-off. (Tip: If it's a long date, give yourself a limit of 5, compliment this with some gentle body contact, touching the arm, lower back)

Was out on saturday and bumped in some guy I met ages ago. Steve, nice guy, bit shy early twenties but very energetic. That is until he encounters women, he can't seem to form a sentence and becomes a shadow of himself. That brought back memories of a time when I was a bit like that, infact most people were like that at some point in their lives.

Now a little older, more experienced, has taught me a few things. Sometimes all someone needs is a little nudge in the right direction. I'd been watching him for a while now and seen that he had his eyes on this one girl across the room. She was pretty, had that contagious smile that makes you wanna smile too. However, as usual a woman like that is surrounded by other men, it's intimidating alright but you know what, they're only men, and that means an equal chance of opportunity.

I walk up to Steve and signal him to follow me like I'm gonna get a drink. It's very crowded so I make a detour and head through the group to cut it into two, Steve still behind me. I know exactly where the girl is but I pretend to look behind me and bump into her (All intentional of course).

me: Reaction like shocked "omg, i'm so sorry, I didn't mean.."
girl: "It's ok"
me: "Really? sorry me and my mate *point to Steve* were just gonna get some drinks... Hey look, let me get me a drink to say sorry"
girl: "No it's fine really"
me: "No, I insist..."
girl: "no..."
me: "C'mon look, I'm gonna get you a drink, what will you have? *persuasive tone* I tell you what, this is Steve, Steve this is...?" (disengage and distract)
girl: "... Carmen"
me: "Nice to meet you Carmen *shakes her hand* Steve, this is Carmen, Carmen - steve (with her hand already held out, goes on to shakes Steve's hand). Right, I'm gonna get some drinks and I'll be right back. What did you say you'll have?"
girl: "um Malibu coke"
me: *puts hand on Steve's shoulder nudging him to move directly in front of Carmen* "Hey Steve, didn't you say you were going around Asia - Thailand, Malaysia China, wasn't it? Here tell Carmen all about it"

*meanwhile I casually headed to the bar and got some drinks, then headed back.*

It seemed to be going well, she was smiling and her body language was positive, so I tapped them on the shoulder, and quickly gave them the drinks and made my excuses to leave them in conversation.

He managed to get her number and you couldn't wipe the smile off his face even if I punched him ten times in the face. Well done grasshopper.

Recently, there's a bit of a fad going around... "Hey what would your top five [enter subject here] be?" So the conversation went from films, cars, drinks, women... Ah yes women, what a vast range to choose from and yet only five! The whole world... and you had to actually decide who not to have, you have Amy who lives in the next flat, that girl you met whilst on holiday in Australia... Celebrities!... Penelope Cruz, Eva Mendes... this needed some serious thought.

45 minutes later I had decided, finally the Top five women of my choice. This was it, Amy didn't make it, she's nice but not of this caliber, Penelope, she is exotic don't get me wrong but we're talking top five here.


me: "Guys, here's my Top Five women"...
Friend: "Ooh let's hear it then, Top Five women you'd marry"
me: "marry??!?! when did that happen"
Friend: "That was the whole point, otherwise it's too easy"
me: "... "

Easy?! That's not easy, obviously he didn't realise the extent of women he could choose from - the whole world! So now I had to rethink it all... marriage - that's a whole new ball game.

So there's Amy in the flat next door...

What I find about the good things in life is the fact that we can laugh about the misunderstandings between men and women, esepecially our perceptions of what the other person is thinking. This reminded me the other day of when a guy doesn't 'get the hint' from a girl - that she has no interest in him.

The following clip just got me laughing for 5 mins because sometimes it's so true. What makes this paraody even funnier is that the guy is played by a woman. Enjoy.

Note - Persistence is good, just not like this.